The New Oxford American Dictionary (2005) defines whine as a verb that means: complain in a feeble or petulant way.
Whining is a powerless way to complain about something to which we do not believe we have the power to change.
In the world of counseling, therapists/counselors/psychologists often bring up an idea called locus of control. Locus of control is the belief we have about the location (source) of the causes of events in our lives. There are two types of locus of control – internal (within you) and external (outside of you) (Donatelle, 2011).
People with an internal locus of control are those who believe that their behaviors are guided by their personal decisions and efforts and that they have control over those things they can change. Because individuals with an internal locus of control believe that they are in control over their circumstances, they tend to manage stress better. On the other hand, people with an external locus of control see their behaviors and their lives as being controlled by luck or fate. These individuals often view their lives and circumstances as victims of life and bad luck.
Having an internal locus of control (believing you have power over your own actions) is tied to self-efficacy, which is the belief you have about being able to do something successfully (Donatelle, 2011).
Generally, people who whine are those who tend to be preoccupied with cognitive distortions or thinking errors. Thinking errors are our tendencies to focus on insufficient or inappropriate information and then jump to conclusions or make predictions (Palmer & Szymanska, 2007). These patterns of thinking often are the causes of negative thinking and lead to the nasty habit known as whining.
Some common thinking errors include:
- Mind-reading/Jumping to conclusions – jumping to a conclusion without the relevant information.
- All-or-nothing thinking – evaluating experiences on the basis of extremes. For example, “I always lose.”
- Blame – not taking responsibility and blaming someone else or something else for the problem.
- Magnification – blowing things out of proportion.
- Personalization – taking things personally.
- Fortune-telling – thinking you know what the future holds.
- Labeling – labeling or rating yourself. For example, “I’m a loser” or “I’m an idiot.”
- Minimization – minimizing the part one plays in a situation. For example, “It must have been an easy test because I got a good grade.”
- Low frustration tolerance or ‘I-can-stand-it-itis’ – lowering our ability to endure frustrating or stressful situations by telling ourselves, “I can’t stand it.”
“Don’t find fault, find a remedy; anybody can complain.”
–Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company
Donatelle, R. (2011). Health: The basics (Green ed.). San Francisco: Pearson Benjamin Cummings.
McKean, E. (Ed.). (2005). The New Oxford American Dictionary (2nd ed.). New York: Oxford University Press, Inc.
Palmer, S, & Szymanska, K. (2007). Cognitive behavioural coaching: An integrative approach. In S. Palmer and A. Whybrow (Eds.), Handbook of coaching psychology: A guide for practitioners (pp. 86-117). London: Sage.